Implementing Tools Outside of Session
Do you ever feel like you step into your therapist’s office and in a blink, your session is over? In those quick 50 minutes, you have discussed, addressed, explored, and felt a LOT of various things. You leave therapy and move on with your day, only to realize many of the same challenges that you had just addressed are showing up. Logically, you know what to do, yet it feels very challenging to apply the necessary tools. This is a familiar scenario, especially because applying tools takes time and often requires being in a state of regulation to access many of (your) tools. Below are a few ways to implement tools outside of the session in a more accessible and consistent way and to assist in increasing regulation.
The tools referred to in this post are more specific to, but not limited to, building a window of tolerance, helping to regulate your nervous system, increasing or adding movement, shifting stagnant behaviors and narratives, checking in with yourself, and adopting more adaptive self-talk. These tools are often referred to as foundational, transferable, and proactive tools. These three key approaches are intended to assist with implementing tools in a way that honors autonomy, consistency, enhances curiosity, and results in effectiveness.
1.Making it work for you: One of the most effective ways to implement a tool is to customize it to your specific needs and to do so organically. This may take some trial and error. It is important to lean into your self-trust and ensure it feels right when implementing these new tools. It is often said that “those tools don’t work for me” or “I have tried these tools before and nothing helped.” If this sounds familiar, it is often due to being told how and when to use these tools instead of being provided these tools and giving yourself the autonomy to figure out where they fit best in your day-to-day. It is important to be in control of these tools and figure out where in your daily functioning they are best practiced and effective.
Another factor to consider for this is time and duration. This can help by noticing if we are wanting to increase utilization of tools, or are we trying to decrease a specific behavior or reactive response, and noticing how often we want to do this. Many times we are introduced to a tool, and we figure we need to utilize this as soon as possible and as often as possible. This might be the goal; however, that’s not always a great place to start because that puts a lot of pressure on the situation and reinforces the idea that the tool itself doesn’t work versus the implementation of the tool. Exploring the idea of how often you would like to use this tool (duration) and setting a goal utilizing reflection and grace. With this, I encourage my clients to just start with three times a week and to give yourself the opportunity to figure out what that looks like, whether that is Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, or Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, or maybe it is just starting to practice once a week and seeing how that fits in with your lifestyle and then making appropriate changes, as needed as you figure out what that feels like for you and your system.
2.Matching/Marrying: This approach will assist you in identifying tasks or activities that you already perform, whether as part of your routine or out of habit, and then associating the tool you're implementing with them. This method works well for introducing a new tool or for enhancing implementation. For example, tasks like walking your dog, brushing your teeth, getting in your car, or sitting down for a meal can serve as anchors for integrating the tool into your daily routine. These tasks don't require significant changes. If you're trying to incorporate more self-check-ins or mantra work into your life, this approach provides an excellent starting point.
3. Surveying & Reflecting: It's not just about implementing new tools, but about how we respond to these implementations. It's common and easy to revert to old habits, often met with criticism or negativity. I encourage you to reflect and assess how the tool is being utilized. Consider its presence or absence, the barriers encountered, and approach these observations with curiosity and compassion.
